so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
