I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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