i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
