this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
