i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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