i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize