Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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