Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize