I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
