I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
