On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
