Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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