It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
