One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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