O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
