yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Randomize
