you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i now understand why vodka
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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