whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
jump out the window naked night went bad
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize