Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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