Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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