Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
