I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
40s are totally the cure
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
