Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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