How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
