he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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