this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
