lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize