hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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