Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
