it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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