he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
