connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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