bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
