I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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