I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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