Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
