hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
they need to just BURY HIM!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I would fuck him just for his dog
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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