I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
