He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
