Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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