I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Do vagina's smell?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
