Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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