If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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