it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
