i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize