So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
