Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
