I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize