Her vagina should come with caution tape.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
