I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
