Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
