She is in my trunk
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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