Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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