I wish I could punch you in the face.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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