My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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