So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
