I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
