If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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