She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
