why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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